


A Permission Form for Roy

by OTP



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Complete, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 20:59:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OTP/pseuds/OTP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy has only one thing to do before he can date Riza and that is to fill out a permission form. Can he do it or will it be harder than he thinks? Royai oneshot quite humorous Edited: 11/26/09</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Permission Form for Roy

The Permission Form for Roy

Colonel Roy Mustang took a deep breath before he knocked on the door to the general's office.

"Come in," someone from the other room answered.

Roy opened the large double doors and stopped in front of the general's desk. He stood at attention and saluted. General Grumman looked up from his work and smiled.

"Oh, good afternoon Colonel Mustang. What brings you here on such a beautiful day?"

"I came to ask you something very important," he replied, a little nervous.

General Grumman's smile only widened and he leaned forward expectantly. He knew exactly what Roy was going to ask about. "Ask away."

After taking another deep breath, Roy gave the general a determined look. "I would like to ask for your permission to date your granddaughter," he said firmly.

There was a long awkward pause before the general spoke. "I'm sorry to say that before I can give you my consent on this matter, you must first fill out an application form," he held out a piece of paper to Roy.

Roy almost fell over when he heard those words, but he recovered quickly. "An application form? You've got to be kidding me!"

Grumman only grinned. "No joke Colonel. If you want to date my granddaughter you're going to have to fill it out no matter what. I expect to see you back here tomorrow at 0700 hours. Dismissed and good luck," he said getting up from his desk and pushing Roy out the door.

"What the…" Roy never got to finish his statement as the door slammed shut behind him. This left him sitting in the middle of the deserted hallway with a dazed expression.

He sat there for a few minutes until a woman's voice echoed down the hall. "Colonel, why are you sitting on the floor in the middle of the hallway?"

He turned his head around to gaze at the woman before him. 1st Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was giving him a confused look. When he didn't answer she sighed and held out her hand to help him up. He took it and Riza hauled him to his feet.

"Thanks Hawkeye," he said, trying to hide the sheet of paper behind his back.

Riza unfortunately noticed his movement and frowned. "What are you trying to hide sir?" she asked sternly.

Roy took a step back and smirked. "Oh, it's nothing for you to worry about Hawkeye."

"I beg to differ. You just came out of my grandfather's office. What did you ask him and what did he tell you?" she asked taking a step forward.

'Damn…I don't think I can wiggle my way out of this one…' he thought grudgingly.

With a heavy sigh, Roy handed the paper to Riza. "I was asking your grandfather if I could go out with you…" he stated, averting his eyes.

Riza looked at the paper and laughed. "I can't believe that he's still handing these things out. It shouldn't be too hard for you to fill out sir," she said with a small smile.

"Easy for you to say…" he grumbled as they walked down the hall towards their offices.

Her smile was softer when she handed the paper back to him. "Well, you better fill it out anyways or you won't be able to go out with me."

This made Roy pause and he ran his hand through his hair. "Do I really have to do this Riza? I'm not some teenager."

"I know, it doesn't make any sense but you should just fill it out and be done with it. If you'll excuse me, I have a more things to do before I go back to the office," she said before she turned and headed down a separate hallway.

"Alright, I'll fill it out," Roy said reluctantly, giving the innocent piece of paper a burning glare.

Roy took out a pen and looked over the form. He didn't do it at work because his subordinates were nosy and he wouldn't have any privacy.

He read the form:

Application for: Permission to Date My Granddaughter

Note: This application will be rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage and current medical report from your doctor. Please be prepared to submit additional information, like a psychological profile and polygraph test, as required.

Name: Roy Mustang

Date of Birth: June 11, 1885

Height: 5'9

Weight: 70 kg.

I.Q.: 130

GPA: 4.0

Social Security #: I have no idea

Drivers License #: Coming soon

Boy Scout Rank: Ummm….Colonel?

Home Address: 5255 Flame Ave.

City/State: Central, Amestris

Zip: 64253

Phone #: 189-2610

E-mail Address: What the heck is an e-mail?

How fast can you run 40 yards? Depends on who is behind me.

2 Miles? About ten minutes depending on what the reason is.

Do you own a van? Hell no, it's a sissy car. I own a Mustang.

A truck with oversize tires? No.

A waterbed? I hate water…it makes me useless.

Do you have an earring? I'm a guy, of course not.

Nose ring? No.

Belly button ring? No…

Tattoo? Think again.

(If yes to any of these questions, discontinue application and leave the premises).

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? Extra paperwork and Riza threatening me with her gun.

In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUGH MY GRANDDAUGHTER mean to you? No comment…

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? …Can I have the definition of the word?

What church do you attend? I'm an alchemist, I have no gods.

How often do you attend? Always because I have no religion, therefor I don't attend. Ever.

When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and minister? Never because they don't exsist.

Answer freely by filling in the blanks. All answers will be confidential. (That means I won't tell anyone).

If I were shot, the last place I would want to be wounded is in my eye.

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want to be broken is my thumbs.

A woman's place is in a miniskirt.

The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask me about is my cooking abilities.

In the unfortunate event of my untimely death, I would like Maes Hughes to be contacted.

Emergency Phone #: 911

My greatest fear is getting caught in the rain.

When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her guns. (Note: If the answer to this question begins with a B, T or A, discontinue and leave the premises-keeping head low and running in a serpentine fashion).

What do you want to do IF you grow up? Be the Fuhrer.

Have you ever been fingerprinted? No, I wear gloves.

Had a DNA sample taken and recorded? Ask my doctor.

I swear that all the information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, torture, electrocution, castration, and red hot pokers.

Signature(That means your name): Roy Mustang

Note: After submitting your application, please allow 4-6 years for processing. Please remember don't contact us, we'll contact you.

By now, Roy was quite agitated. 'This has got to be one of the most pointless application I have ever had to fill out. What does any of this have to do with me asking Riza out?!' he exclaimed in his mind.

With a groan, he tossed the paper onto the desk and crawled into his bed.

The Next Morning:

"I filled it out General," Roy said as he saluted.

Gen. Grumman smiled. "I see, show it to me."

Roy stepped forward and handed him the paper. The old general examined the application thoroughly and he started to laugh.

"General?" Roy asked in confusion.

He continued to chuckle, giving Roy an approving smile. "Congratulations Colonel, you have my permission to date my granddaughter. You better take care of her, I would never forgive you if she got hurt."

"Rest assured General, I will take good care of her and you know I would never hurt her. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find somebody," Roy blurted out quickly in his haste to get out of the room. He gave the general a quick salute and dashed out of the room.

Grumman chuckled lightly after he left. "I wonder when they're going to have the wedding?" he looked at the form again and grinned. "This is perfect blackmail material."

"Did you really have to do that to him grandfather?" Riza asked stepping out of the filing closet with a frown.

"Of course I did, I have a duty to protect my granddaughter," he said casually.

She sighed, sometimes her grandfather could act like a child. Despite this, Riza was actually curious as to what Roy had written. She walked over to her grandfather's desk. "May I see that form?"

"But of course," he said happily, handing her the form.

When she finished reading it, she fought the urge to laugh. "I can't believe he wrote these things. This really is good blackmail material. If he ever tries to cheat on me, I will make sure that the entire military sees this faster than he can snap."

They grinned and Riza left the room to find a certain pyromaniac.


End file.
